Pilgrim

Exhaustion mental or physical, chicken or egg trapped by a rat race. Extra hours, no lunch smart phones no time for family or pleasure. Work work work Felled by my own success called to a stop, an inability to go on. So I'll get off the rat race that I didn't think I was on! I will listen again to the ryhthms of life I am plain exhausted in body mind and spirit can't think, can't plan. What can I do? R'n'R the doctor says and on a bleak November day I manage "Clementine" on the keyboard small shoot of recovery? The only word from God is "Rest in my arms" Lord God, creator of all hold me safe as I rest hold me safe as I accept your love wash me again in your Grace (c) Colin Waldock  12.11.2015

 My last post spoke about why we worship and briefly about the reasons why I was unable to deliver the sermon as I had planned to. In truth , I have hit a block where I have had to accept that I am exhausted, and as a consequence my long term tendency to suffer with anxiety has reared it's head.  I suspect that I am also mildly clinically depressed as I find it difficult to read for long periods of time, my concentration spans have shortened, and I have lost interest in things generally.  Despite being successful in my job, I somehow feel that if I were to retire tomorrow, what the heck? My GP has been very helpful, and I have been a dutiful patient and made contact with the counselling service.  The huge irony in all this is that run a counselling and listening service at my local church, I completed some training in counselling to assist me in my active listening, and yet my commitment to listening has in part led to me becoming plain "wore out" to use the vern...

I was due to deliver this sermon this Sunday, but have had a setback with my long term anxiety, something that I though I had successfully managed to a point that it was no longer an issue, however due to multiple strands of stress, including behaviour patterns from people in Churches and at work and my own inability to say NO, I have found myself exhausted, emotionally fragile, and in a bit of state really.  GP has said stop, so stop it is. I have therefore relinquished my position as Steward at my local Church, but will continue in my work as a local preacher as that is what God has called me to do, be a prophet in effect, sharing his word. below is the Sermon I was due to deliver in a service that was themed as "Worship stripped bare". As I started to pray and to reflect on the message for today, I found myself struck by a question.   Why do we worship, and why do we nearly always get it wrong?   I know, before anyone whispers under his or her breath – that’s te...

The angel came again last night No choirs of heaven A silent whisper in the night "Move the child" Where? "Move the child - danger!" We listened before We will listen again Fear fills my soul He didn't say "Do not fear" He said "danger" Move the child We left at dawn as fast as we could leaving our family and friends to God knows what Fear drives us onwards Fear for ourselves, dread for our friends Hidden just over the border Refugees at large We hear of the killing innocents slaughtered my sisters raped and butchered the village razed All for the child I look into his eyes sadness and love reflected tears fall on tiny cheeks oh Lord, my Lord Asleep in my arms

Part 3 of my Christmas meditations: Angel song covers a mother’s cries of pain I am born of my own creation Fully human, just like you Frail and fragile To suffer pain, just like you To feel hunger, just like you To be tempted, just like you To be reviled, just like you To cry, just like you To be betrayed, just like you To suffer, just like you To die, just like you But I created death and I am with you now When you suffer pain, I am with you When you hunger, I am with you When you are tempted, I am with you When you are reviled, I am with you When you cry, I am with you When you are betrayed I am with you When you suffer, I am with you When you die, I am with you As the angels sing, so I sing too ‘Do not be afraid, I am with you

We live in a world that to all intents and purposed doesn’t work in the way that it should.   We only have to look at the news sources to see new ways that humans find to damage others.   Most often it is the poor and weak who are taken advantage of, sometimes sold into slavery, often victims of ideological conflict in one shape or another. How then can we preach the Good News, in the face of illness, of poverty, of hatred, of fear, of dishonesty? We see this incongruity in Psalm 82, where the psalmist calls out to God, “How long will you judge unjustly, and show partiality to the wicked?”   The psalmist continues to berate God, reminding him of his responsibilities to give justice to the weak, to look after the orphan, to rescue the weak and needy.   As usual with the psalms, it is an open and frank relationship enjoyed with God.   The closing lines can be seen as an affirmation of God’s lordship over all the earth, whilst conversely, the psalmist ...

Part 2 of my series for the coming Christmas Mary is pregnant with her child, and is faced with the looks and whispers of those around her: I am isolated from family, society, temple and Joseph. I hear the constant harping; whispers behind my back. they call me unclean, a whore. I never dreamt it would be this way, that day when I saw the Angel. My son, the Messiah, and yet I am attracting hatred and derision. What will happen to him? I feel so alone Where is God now? And the I stop and listen, really listen for that still small voice. In the midst of hatred, love rises. So is this the way of Messiah attracting all that is vile and transforming it with love? God is literally growing inside me.. I fear for his safety.